


The Odd Couple

by Slash_addict



Category: DCU - Comicverse
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-08-09
Updated: 2011-08-09
Packaged: 2017-10-22 10:58:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,090
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/237343
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Slash_addict/pseuds/Slash_addict
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For those of you not following Countdown what you need to know is this.  James and Hartley aka the Trickster and Piper were part of the Flash’s gallery of rouges.  They witnessed the murder of the most recent Flash, Bart Allen, at the hands of the other rogues.  So now they’re wanted fugitives for the murder of the Flash, they were picked up by Amanda Waller’s Task Force which is going around apprehending criminals in a less than up and up manner.  The Task Force cuffed the two of them together with an electronic shock chain/bracelet combo that delivers an electric shock if they pull on it, so in other words they are stuck with one another.  Subsequently, they are continually chased by Deathshot (part of the Task Force), until finally they end up on a train where he tracks them down for (in my story) a final time cause they kill the rat bastard.  While on the train, a detonation timer was activated on the Bracelet linking them and now they are being treated to a slow countdown to their eminent destruction.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Odd Couple

**Author's Note:**

> *Warning* I do not have a beta, and I’m dyslexic if you’re interested let me know, until such time, however, read at your own grammatical risk.  
> Authors note: I do this for fun, if you don't like it, don't read it.

The Odd Couple

Chapter One

“Getting off the train was a mistake.”  James repeated for the fifth time as he trudged along after Piper.  “I’m hot, I’m thirsty, and I just saw a spider the size of my head.”

Hartley sighed, “What would you have had us do James?  Stay on the train and wait for them to find us?”[1]

“I don’t know, maybe.  At least the spiders were smaller.”  James glanced at the timer on the bracelet, “You’re sure that you can keep this thing from exploding?”

“No.  I’m sure that I can slow it down.”[2]  Hartley glanced over his should at James, “I thought I explained this?”

James rolled his eyes, “I think I was distracted by dying of thirst.”

“Shame it hasn’t affect your vocal cords as well.”

“Ha. Ha.”  James replied, kicking at the sand petulantly.  He missed, lost his balance and stumbled a few paces into Hartley. 

“Would you cut it out?”  Hartley demanded irritably, shoving James away from him.

“Hey, no touching!”

“Oh my god!”  Hartley exploded, “Would you _please_ get over yourself!  I am not interested in you! I have _never_ been interested in you, and if you were the last man on the face of the planet I _still_ wouldn’t be interested in you!”

“What, are you saying I’m not attractive?”

“Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!” Hartley screamed at the desert, “what is _wrong_ with you?!  I cannot believe that I’m stuck in the middle of the freakin dessert chained to a man with the maturity of a twelve year old being punished for something _I didn’t even do_!”

 “ _You’re_ being punished?” James demanded indignantly, “I’m the one whose been made gay by association.”

“That’s it;” Hartley rounded on him “I’m going to kill you now.”

“Oh yeah?”  James took up a parody of a fighting stance, “Bring it on.”

Hartley lunged at him, sending them both tumbling down a sand dune. 

“ _Ow_ ,” James squawked in surprise, “hey! Stop it!”

“You homophobic, idiotic jackass— _ow, damn it_!”

“Yeah, how do you like it?”  James kicked him again and then yelped as Hartley got hold of his hair and pulled.

“Hey, _watch the hair_ you bastard!”

They scrabbled in the sand for a few more moments until exhaustion overcame them and they lay panting in a jumbled heap.  “That,” James panted, “was so immature.”

“You’re right.”  Hartley agreed, “You must be rubbing off on me.”

“Ewww.”

Hartley rolled his eyes tiredly, “I hate you.”

James squinted up at they sky, “What time do you think it is?”

“I don’t know. A little after Noon maybe?”

“Maybe, maybe we should just—hey is that…is that _water_?”

“Not funny.”

“No,” James sat up, sand pouring off of his costume, “No seriously, Hartley look!”

Hartley sat up slowly and glanced in the direction that James was pointing, “Oh my god, I…I think it _is_.”

They stumbled to their feet, staggering to the large puddle of water.  James stuck his entire head in, while Hartley slurred nosily from his cupped hands.  “Thank you god.”  James proclaimed, upon reemerging from the puddle, water streaming down his face, “I swear I will never, ever take your name in vain again.  Except when I really, really need to.  And when watching football.”

“Hey,” Hartley pointed, “What do you supposes made those?”

James studied the tracks for a moment. “Hooves.”

“Funny.” Hartley replied dryly, “They look pretty big, let see what I can drawn in.”  He flourished his makeshift flute.

“Sounds good to me, this walking stuff sucks.”

*

“Dude, wild donkey, who knew.”

“It’s a burro, James.  Burro.”

“Whatever.  So how far till we reach civilization you think?”

Hartley squinted into the distanced, and shook his head, shoulders slumping slightly, “I have absolutely no idea.  Not till tomorrow at the very least,” he glanced at the sinking sun, “we should find somewhere to sleep.”

James gestured expansively, “Piper, we’re in the freakin’ desert, its like, one giant place to sleep.”

Hartley sighed, “We need somewhere that will have scrub so we can make a fire.”

“A fire.”

“Yes.”

“In the desert.”

“It gets cold at night.”

“It can’t get _that_ cold.”

*

“Oh my god I’m _freezing_!  Hurry up and light the damn fire.”

“It can’t get _that_ cold.”  Hartley mocked as he lit the fire, “Told you.”

“Fine, dude you win, just light the stupid thing.”  James retorted, shivering

Once the fire was lit, James moved as close as he could without immolating himself.  Even so, he was still visibly shivering when he said mournfully, “I miss the train.”

“Deathshot nearly _killed_ us on that train.”

“Yeah, but it would have been a warm death.”

“You,” Hartley declared, “are insane.”

James stuck his tongue out at him, and inched still closer to the fire.  Eventually, they lay down by the fire as far from each other as the bracelets would allow—which wasn’t very— James still shivering violently, Piper less so.  Finally, after shriving in silence for fifteen minutes James demanded, “How are you not cold?”

“My costume is insulated.”

“Oh.  Now, why didn’t _I_ think of that?”

“The insulation would have clashed with your tights?” 

Hartley snorted, “I can see that.”

“Bastard.”

“We hetero boys” James sniffed, “don’t obsess over fashion like some people.

Hartley snorted, “I can see that.”

“Bastard.”

Hartley laughed again. “We are going to have to do something about our clothes though. We’re too visible this way.”




“You just want an excuse to get me naked.”

Hartley rolled his eyes.  “Yes exactly you caught me.” 

“Ha!  I knew it.”

“Go to sleep James.”

*

They set off the next morning, irritable and painfully hungry.  James tired to remember when their last meal had been and came up blank.  They rode for close to three hours before stopping to drink the last of their water, trying to convince their growling stomachs that they were really full.  When they dismounted again another hour later to stretch their aching legs, Piper scanned the horizon and his shoulders slumped, “God we could we going in the completely wrong direction.” 

“I thought you were the optimist of the group?”  James questioned, following his gaze.

Piper sighed and shook his head, “Optimism is easier on a full stomach.”

“I know what you mean.  God I’m starving.  Any chance of whistling up lunch?”  James asked hopefully.

“I can try.  But they have to be in range.”

“This is the dessert right?  There are supposed to be, what, iguanas and things?”

“Have you ever eaten an iguana?”

“Well, no.”

“I don’t even know if it’s safe to eat.  How the hell would we cook it? For that matter what would we even cut it open with?”

James frowned, “You know, they never mention stuff like this in the movies.”

“Let’s go for a while longer, if we don’t find a town then we’ll try.”

They rode on in silence punctuated only by the dull thud of the burros’ hooves on the sand and whistling of their breath through parched airways.  A buzzard sounded over head and James flicked it off half heartedly.  When the sun had climbed to its zenith Piper called a halt. 

“We need to get out of the sun, and the bracelet just sped up again.”

“Fuck.”  James said with feeling, “Fine.  Where?”

Piper glanced around and pointed to a rock out cropping.  They headed in that direction only to pull up short at the sound of voices.

“José, que están aquí. Obtener el material listo para el descenso!”  A man shouted down from his perch higher up in the rocks.

“What did he say?”  James hissed to Piper where they were crouched behind one of the rocks, but Piper motioned him to silence.

A second, skin baked brown from the sun, in jeans and a stained t-shirt answered him, “Bien, bien.  Hey, Jesus, Ahora.”

“Dónde?” Came Jesus’ voice from off to their left, “No veo.”

“Allí” José pointed toward the distance, where a spot on the horizon was growing darker.

“Oh, Si.”  Jesus, a machine gun strapped across his back, came into view.  He dropped a final sack onto a pile in front of the three men and watched the growing cloud of dust on the horizon.  Hartley and James stared hungrily at the approaching vehicle. They exchanged glances and Piper brought his flute to his lips.  He waited until the SUV skidded to a halt on the shifting sand, motioned for James to cover his ears, and began to play.  The men, including the two just out of the SUV, froze, a glassy look coming over their eyes.  Hartley gave the all clear signal and then jumped the rocky outcrop and raced forward. 

James scrabbled through the glove compartment, finally coming up with a stained and much folded map. “Got it.”  He crowed happily and then frowned, “It’s in Spanish!”

“Well what did you expect?” Hartley demanded, as he threw the car into reverse. “We’re in Mexico, of course it’s in Spanish you idiot.  Give it here.”

“You know Spanish?”

“Some.”  Hartley admitted grudgingly. “It’s been a while, it’s not actually something that I keep in practice with but—ok this must be where we are,” he jabbed at an X on the map, “which puts us about an hour north of Mexico City.”

“Thank god!”  James shouted, jubilantly.  “Floor it!”

Hartley laughed and gunned the engine keeping an eye on the compass on the dash.  After about forty five minutes the sprawling mass of the City of Mexico came into view and both of them began to whoop in exuberantly relief.

“Oh my god!  Yes!  Thank you baby Jesus!’  Cried James, jumping up and down in his seat, “I don’t believe it!  We’re gonna make it.  I thought we were gonners for sure and we made it!”

Hartley laughed happily, pounding his hands on the wheel. “This is amazing!  Our luck is finally turning around.”  As they flashed by a sign welcoming them to Mexico City, Hartley suggested, “Hey, James, check in the back and see if there’s anything we can use to cover our costumes.”

James turned around and began rifling through the clutter in the back seat, suddenly he froze and Hartley heard an alarmed squeak of surprise.

“What?”

“Um.”

“James _what_?!”

James pulled a heavy black suitcase into the front seat with him.  Flipping open the lid he revealed row upon row of neatly stacked bills.  Hartley’s face paled under his sunburn.  “Oh.  Oh no.”

“Dude, I think we just ripped off the cartel.”  James whispered voice edged with panic; his hands fidgeted on the edges of the suitcase.

“This is not happening.”  Hartley moaned, “Not. Happening.

“Ok, don’t panic.”  James said, licking his chapped lips, “How long were those guys frozen for?”

“Uh, about fifteen minutes.”

“Ok, and will they remember us?”

“Probably not.  Maybe?  I don’t know.  It’s different for different people.”

“Ok, ok, so we get to the city.  We buy some new clothes and then we get the hell outta town.”

“Buy clothes with—no!  James we are not spending that money!”

“Why not?  It’ll be a good deed.  Like Robin Hood.”

“Robin Hood stole from the rich and gave to the poor!”

“Yeah, and we’re poor.”

“James!”

“Hartley, you said it yourself we need clothes so unless you want us to steal them from someone much less deserving then you’re just gonna hafta suck it up and deal.”

Hartley sighed heavily, “I hate it when you make sense.”

“Ha!”

*

Hartley put the SUV into park and then looked over at James, “Ok, in and out as fast as we can, grab whatever looks like it will fit and then let’s get out of there.”  He looked James up and down and sighed, “God could you have chosen anything gaudier for a costume?”

“Hey!  I’ve got a kick ass costume.”

“If you’re Bozo the clown maybe.”

“Fuck you.  You’re just jealous.”

Hartley snorted, “That’ll be the day.”

They climbed awkwardly out of the SUV and then hurried in to the store, nearly electrocuting themselves as they tried to move off in differently directions.  There was a brief, vicious fight for dominance and then they compromised, heading down the center isle.  Hartley stopped at the first rack of clothes, glanced at the sizes and the scooped up half a dozen shirts.  James made a face.

“Those are all button up.”

“So?”

“I hate button up shirts.”

“We’re not going to be able to get anything else over the bracelets.”

James looked horrified, “Oh god, I hadn’t thought—we’re going to have to cut our clothes off.”

“Worry about it later, just find something, we need to get out of here, we’re attracting too much attention as it is.”

In fact, a small crowd had gathered at the entryway of the store, small children foremost, shoving one another in order to get a better look at the strangers.  James growled something in his throat, scooped up an armful of shirts as well and then turned toward the pants section.  When they had a couple pairs of pants each they hurried to the cash register.  The woman behind the counter raised her eyebrows at them; Piper gave her weak smile and said “Circus” not knowing if she understood but she nodded and didn’t say anything, ringing them up in blessed silence as the noise from the doorway rose alarmingly.  They were both practically vibrating with tension by the time they pushed their way through the crowd and back into the SUV.

“That took way too long!” James hissed.

“I know, I know.”  Hartley said nervously, glancing over his shoulder as he put the SUV in gear.  They roared down the main road, until he found something approximating a highway, not until the city was well behind them did they relax and then not much. 

It was the growl of James’ stomach that reminded Hartley that they still hadn’t eaten.

“Shit,” he swore “we should have gotten something to eat.”

James nodded morosely, and then brightened “yeah, but we can stop somewhere now right?”

Hartley shook his head, “We need to find a place to ditch the SUV.”

“Ditch the—but what are we going to drive?!”

“I don’t know we’ll buy something cheap with your Robin Hood money.”  Hartley said tersely as he veered around another car, “But we can’t stay in this thing.  They’ll find us.”

A horrified look stole over James’ face, “Fuck, Piper what if they have lojac on this thing?”

Hartley hesitated.  “I— _shit_!”

Hartley swerved just in time to avoid rear ending a small, slow moving sedan.  “Shit.”  He said again feebly.  “Ok, ok.  We need to get rid of this thing.”

“There!”  James pointed at an off ramp. 

Once off the highway they looked around in growing despair, “Shit there is nothing out here!” James said unhappily.

“Ok stop.”  Hartley said, “Just stop.”  He took a deep breath, “We need to ditch this car.  Now.  There.”  He pointed at a small house, “We are going to change and then we are going to go buy that car.”

“That.” James wrinkled his nose in disgust, “I doubt that thing can get over forty miles an hour.”

“It’ll have to do.”  Hartley parked the car and then reached for the bag of clothes.  He looked from the bracelet to their costumes and then to bag.  “Ok, I’m going to need you to be mature for the next few moments because we’re going to have to help each other.”

James followed his train of though and then sighed, “Fine, but no inappropriate touching!”  He admonished as he began struggling out of his costume.

“Right, like I’d want to.”

“Oh you know you want to.”  Came James muffled response, “I’m a hot piece of merchandise and you know it.”

Hartley laughed, “Sure, right.”

“I am!”  James insisted

Actually he was.  Hartley was willing to admit privately, but he’d be drawn and quartered before he’d admit it out loud.  “Whatever.”

They had to cut the costume the rest of the way off.  James struggled into a pair of slacks and one of the dress shirts, which they also had to slit in order to get it on.  Then it was Piper’s turn.

“Is that…oh my god is that a tattoo?”

“What?”  Hartley looked up from tugging on a pair of gray slacks and frowned, “So you’re allowed to look but I’m not?”  As soon as the words were out of his mouth he knew it was a mistake.

 James got the biggest grin on his face and said, smugly “See, I knew you wanted me.”

Hartley rolled his eyes, “This is like being hand cuffed to a thirteen year old.”

“Whatever, you know you want it.  But don’t get any ideas, cause I don’t swing that way.”

“You know James,” Hartley said as he slit the side of his shirt and then began buttoning it up, “I think you might protest just a little too much.”

“What?”

“I’m just saying that you seem awfully insecure about your sexuality if you have to keep reminding me that you’re not interested.”

“What, no!” James sputtered indignantly, he shook the bracelet in Hartley’s face, “Dude, if it weren’t for this thing I wouldn’t give a damn, but now because I’m chained with you everybody assumes I’m gay as rainbows!”

“Sure.  Come on, we need to ditch this thing.”

“Don’t change the subject just ‘cause I’m winning.”  James argued as he climbed out after Hartley, “Admit it, I’m not gay.”

“You’re not gay.”  Hartley agreed readily as he glanced around making sure the street was empty.  “Do you know how to hot wire a car?”

James made a face, “Dude, of course I do.  I’m a rogue.”

“Well then come on and do something useful for a change.”

*

“Fifty seven…. fifty eight.”

“James, would you please stop.”

"I can’t believe you actually left them money for it.”

Hartley sighed, and took the next exist ramp.  “Just let it go, would you?  We’ll find something else soon enough.  Let’s just focus on finding something to eat.”

James slumped down in the chair running a hand through his hair.  He made a face and sighed, “I feel disgusting.  I would sell my soul for a shower right about now.”

Hartley nodded his fervent agreement and then did a double take, “Well,” he said after a moment, “you might get your wish.”  He pointed at a rundown neon motel sign.

*

“Um, holla,” Hartley addressed the hotel manager in halting and broken Spanish, “Nosotros quieren..uh, room?  De la noche.”

The man behind the counter didn’t look up from the book he was reading, he leaned over grabbed a room key and tossed it at a startled Piper. 

“Veintidós. Pago por adelantado.”

 “Um…”

“What did he say?”

“I’m not sure,” Piper muttered, “Ah, Sorry?”

The man looked up and rolled his eyes, “Pays now.”

“Oh.  Oh right. Uh, how much?  Er, cuánto?”

“Veinte dólares a noche.”

“Oh, ok.”  Piper dug into his pocket and pulled out a wad of bills, counting out twenty dollars carefully onto the counter.  “Is there, um Donde Es food?”

“Que?”

“Um, food. Food?  Um, MacDonald’s?  Burger king?”

“Oh, si, si.” The man pulled out a badly photocopied map and traced a line with his finger, keeping up a running commentary in Spanish that went entirely over Piper’s head.  But he nodded and smiled and took the proffered piece of paper. 

“Gracias.”

“What did he say?”  James demanded again once they were in the hall way.

“I don’t know.  I only got one word out of six, but something about a MacDonald’s down the road and if I heard right a grocery store.”

They were both pleasantly surprised by the condition of the room, it was small but clean and there was even a small T.V with rabbit ears in the corner.  James tugged Piper along to the bathroom and just stared at the shower for a while, finally sliding down against the wall. 

“God, I’m so tired.”

Piper nodded, “Whatday think?  Shower then sleep?  And then track down some food?”

James looked from the bracelet to the shower and then sighed, “This is going to suck.”

Hartley refrained from comment, too tired to protest at this point.  He began methodically stripping out of his cloths, finally James did likewise.

“This never leaves this room.”  James proclaimed vehemently, as he pulled off his underwear.  Piper made a show of looking elsewhere and began regulating the shower water.  “Piper?”

“Never leaves the room.  Got it, shut up and get in.”

They squeezed under the shower head, jumping a little as they tried to regulate the temperature to something their sunburned faces could stand, but when James went to open his mouth under the spray, Piper stopped him.

“Touching!”

“You can’t drink the water here, you idiot!  You’ll get sick, and I’m not spending the night with you bent over the toilet.”

“Oh.”  James frowned, “I’m thirsty.”

“There’s a vending machine in the hall, it’s old but I think it still works, we’ll go get something after we shower.”

James nodded and then finished lathering up.  They stayed under the spray until the water ran cold, and then even after.  Finally they climbed out, toweling off awkwardly.

“I wish we’d gotten other underwear,” Piper said making a face, “I really don’t want to put those back on.”

“Turn them inside out.”  James offered

Piper raised an eyebrow at him, and then shrugged following James’ example.  When they were dressed in inside out underwear and pants they loped out to the vending machine—but to their dismay found only carbonated drinks.

“Right, bottled water is probably way too trendy for this place.”  James offered tiredly.  “We should find the store Piper.  We need to eat.”  Hartley sagged against the wall and closed his eyes.  He woke to find James shaking him, “Piper, Piper! Hartley!”

“What?”

James frowned, “are you ok?”

“M’just tired.”  He mumbled.

James placed a hand to his forehead and swore, “You’ve got a fever.” 

“Dehydration.”

“Yeah.  Come on, we’re gonna go find the store.”

They made a quick stop by their rooms to grab shirts and shoes than headed down to the front desk.  The man behind the counter frowned at Hartley swaying form.

“He ok?”

James shook his head, “We got lost in the desert, we just need some water.”  The man brightened, he held up a finger and came back with several bottles of water.  “Oh, god, thank you!” James said gratefully as he took the bottles of water from the man.  “Thank you.”

The man waved them off, still frowning at Piper and James steered them back to their room.  After they had downed several bottles each—slowly so as not to just throw the water back up—Hartley looked much better, if still exhausted.  They stared at the double bed.  Finally Hartley turned to James, “James, I’m honest to god no going to try anything, can we please just go to sleep?”

It was a measure of how tired James was that he didn’t even crack a joke, he just nodded foggily and climbed onto the bed. 

*

James woke in warmth and comfort, something that was enough of a novelty that he just basked in the feeling for a while, until his brain finally registered that someone’s head was on his chest.  He toyed with that idea lazily, trying to think who it might be and then he felt…stubble?!

“ _The hell_?”  James shouted shoving backward and dislodging Hartley from his chest.

“What?!” Hartley shouted as he jerked awake, looking around wildly.

“Dude!  You were sleeping on me!  That is your side!” James pointed at the left side of the bed, “This is my side!  Stay on your damn side!”

Hartley blinked at him foggily for a moment and then understanding dawned, “James, I wasn’t, I didn’t—He looked frustrated, “I’m sorry.”  He said finally, and moved as far away as he could without falling off the bed.

In spite of himself, James felt slightly bad about his response, but he didn’t feel like getting into it.  His stomach ached hollowly and he glanced at the clock by the side of the bed, “Jesus.  We slept for like, fifteen hours.  It is so past time to get something to eat.”

Hartley glanced over at him and nodded, “Agreed.”  He looked in the direction of the shower but James shook his head, “later, I’m likely to fall over from hunger.”

*

“We cannot subsist solely on take out.”  Hartley complained as they sat down with their food.

“Why not?”  James asked through a mouthful of chili dog and Hartley grimaced.

“Well, we need vegetables for one.”

James swallowed, took another bite and asked, “Why?”

Hartley sighed and gave up.  It looked slightly odd that they were sitting on the same side of the table, the other side left empty, but they’d found a booth in the back where not too many people would see them. Still, they ate quickly and then bought more for diner to take with them.

James burped impressively as he climbed back into the car, “God I thought I’d never be full again.”

“I know what you mean, although I think I ate too much.”

“Yeah, me too.”  James replied and burped again, and Hartley made a face.  “What?”

“That’s disgusting.  We are finding a store and getting some toothpaste, I’m not spending my day chained to a man with chili breath.”

James stuck his tongue out at him, but didn’t argue as James hunted up the grocery store they’d heard about the day before.  The filled the cart with everything they could think of and headed back to the hotel, where they paid for another two nights before locking themselves in their room.  Hartley had picked up a news paper—in English—and scanned it to see if there was any mention of the cartel—there wasn’t but that didn’t mean anything.

“So,” Hartley asked, throwing the paper onto the nightstand, “What do you want to do?  Stay here, go somewhere else?”

“How much money do we have?”

“Enough.  We haven’t even put a dent in the suitcase.”

“Then I say we stay here for a few more days, see what all we can hear.”  James shook his head, “More importantly we need to find someway to get this stupid thing off!”  He clanked the bracelet at Hartley.

“Yeah, but how?” 

“I don’t know.  You’re the brains of this operation.”

Hartley grinned, “Since when?”

“Since I ran outta ideas.”

“Hey, you’re the one that invented an invisibility cloak.  Can’t you get this thing off?”

“Depends, the mood has to be right, and we’ve only just met.”

Hartley rolled his eyes, still grinning, “James.”

“Fine, fine.  Honestly I’m afraid to mess with it, what if I set it off?” 

“We go boom.”

“Yeah, not much room for error ya know?”

“You used to be in the circus, can’t you, I don’t know, momentarily dislocate your thumb and then slip it off?”

James rolled his eyes, “No.  And anyway, where would that leave you?”  Hartley looked surprised at his concern and James shrugged uncomfortably, “look don’t make a thing out of it ok.”

Hartley looked thoughtful, “You know I never did thank you for saving my life.”[3]

“Look don’t get all—

“Gay?”

“That’s not what I was gonna say!”  James replied sharply, “I was gonna say sappy.  Don’t get all sappy on me ok?  I just didn’t want to end up dragging a corpse around with me, that’s all.”

“Right.”  Hartley smiled, at him, “Thanks James.”

“Whatever.  Look, I’m still tired, do you mind if I take a nap?”

“No, that sounds great to me too.  We can’t get into too much trouble asleep, now can we?”

 

*

James rolled over and blinked fuzzily.  He lay half awake trying to figure out what had woken him when he heard it again, a pleading moan from the other side of the bed.

“No, god, please no.”

Ah.  That dream.[4]  He sighed, he knew that one.  It sucked.  He rolled over and put a hand on Hartley’s arm and shook him gently, “Hey, s’just a dream Piper.”

Piper rolled over, his eyes blinked open and focused unseeing on James, “Oh god he’s dead.”

James stroked his arm reassuringly, “Easy Hartley, I know, we did what we could, ya know?  It all just happened so fast.”  He realized that Hartley wasn’t really awake and thus hopeful wouldn’t remember this when he woke up.  James had a reputation to maintain after all.

Hartley moan again and pulled himself against James, burying his face in James’ chest.  After a moment his breathing evened out and he was fully asleep again, but the dream seemed to have gone for the moment.  James regarded the sleeping man on his chest, thought about freaking out and then decided the hell with it and settled back down to sleep himself.

 

* * *

 

Hartley stirred, his hand running the length of the body under him, until he found the straining erection and began to stroke gently.  The body beneath him groaned in appreciation.  _Charley_ Hartley thought warmly, and still half asleep, moved to kiss him. Lips met, but as Hartley deepened the kiss, his hand picking up speed, something felt…wrong.  Suddenly his eyes snapped open just in time to see James do the same thing.  He lunged away so quickly that they nearly fell off the bed.

“James!  God, I’m sorry.  I’m so sorry!  I, I…” he babbled, panicked, “James you have to believe me—I would never!”  James was watching him wide eyed.  He brought one hand up to his mouth and just stared.  “Oh Jesus.” Hartley groaned, “James, please.  I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean—I, I thought you were my ex, I _swear_.  God, say something.  Hit me.  Yell at me.”

James swallowed and shook his head, “No, um…” he trailed off.

“James,” Hartley said, anguished, “I swear that I did not mean to take advantage of you.”  James nodded and then glanced down to where he was tenting the bed sheets, his confusion not enough to dampen the arousal that Hartley had helped along.  He colored in embarrassment and Hartley looked like he wanted to cry.  “James…say something.”

James swallowed again, “It felt good.”  He whispered, sounding stunned.

Hartley’s eyes widened, “Oh James, no, just because it felt good does not mean your gay, James look at me,” James looked up from his wilting hard on, “I mean it.  The body responds, you were asleep, it’s natural.”

James nodded, and then shook his head, and gave Hartley a shaky grin, “See, I knew you were after my body.” 

Hartley regarded him for a moment, “are you ok?  Honestly?”

James blew out a breath and then rolled his eyes as he regained his grip on normalcy, “You didn’t _rape_ me Piper.”

“I know, it’s just, you’ve been so worried about me doing what I just did.” He wrung his hands, “I’m so sorry,”

“Hey,” James frowned, “Hartley, I’ve been joking.  I’m not really worried that you’re gonna make a pass at me or anything.”  He leaned over and punched him gently in the arm, “Easy.  I’m fine.  You just kinda caught me by surprise.  I’m not _scared_ of you Piper.”  Hartley nodded, but he remained on the far side of the bed, and James could easily see the self chastisement he was clearly indulging in.  “Did you really think I was being serious?”  James felt bad, he’d never meant for Piper to take him seriously.

The question took Hartley by surprise; he hesitated for a moment and then shrugged, “Maybe?  I, you’re one of my only friends James…” he shook his head.

James smiled, “You’re ok yourself Hartley, and honestly I’m fine.”  He chuckled, “A bit horny now, but fine.” He sighed leaning back against the head board, “I think I’d commit quite the felony for a bit of privacy for the next ten minutes or so.”

Hartley grinned, “I could always finish.”  He teased gently, testing the waters.  James blinked, the smile sliding off his face, “I was joking!”  Hartley said hurriedly

“No, I just.”  James stared up at the ceiling, “Would you?”

Hartley eyes went wide, “Are you…seriously?”

James shrugged at the ceiling, “It’s been almost three weeks since I’ve jacked off, Piper m’man and it’s really staring to grate.  And, not to point fingers or anything, but you kinda stoked that fire a bit…I would,” he shrugged, “You don’t have to.”

Hartley blinked, “No,” he gave a strained laughed, “No _I_ don’t mind.  Are _you_ sure?”

James was quiet for a moment and then said, “Yeah.”

“Ok.”  Hartley nodded.  “Can I, um,” he glanced at James and licked his lips nervously; “would you rather I gave you head instead?”  Hartley shook his head at how very surreal this conversation had become.

James looked away from his study of the ceiling, surprise plain on his face, “You’d want to?”

Hartley shrugged apologetically, “I _am_ gay James.  I _like_ giving head.”

“What really?”

“Yeah, really.”

“Oh. Ok, only, only I’m not gonna, you know, return the favor or anything.”

Hartley smiled, “I wouldn’t expect you to.”

“Oh.  Well, good.”

Hartley nodded, “you ready?”

“What?  Oh, yeah.”  He returned to staring at the ceiling and Hartley slid down on him, taking the sheets with him.  In spite of himself, Hartley was turned on.  Aside from being a homophobic—although he was gonna have to rethink that one—jackass, James was gorgeous, and smart, and funny and, Hartley sighed mentally and wondered just when the hell he’d gone and fallen for the man.  Not that he’d tell James, but he wasn’t one to waste an opportunity when one was presented.

He started off gently, licking up and down the length.  He smirked to himself at the sharp intake of breath from James and then went back to concentrating on the task at hand.  He’d been serious when he’d told James that he liked giving head.  He was also, according to his past boyfriends, really damn good at it.  James was nicely hung, not the biggest that Hartley had ever seen, but proportional and very attractive.  Hartley felt his own body responding and as James’ hips began to thrust slightly, he thought _god, if only I could get him to take me_ it had been, _soooooo_ long.  But he pushed that thought from his mind and continued to devour James’ erection. 

His tongue traced the pulsing vein on the underside, and then swirled up the length as he prepared to deep throat him.  He took him slowly at first, allowing himself time to adjust.  James moaned out loud as he took him to the root and then began to swallow.  Hard.  James was panting at this point, making little whimpering sounds until finally he began tugging at Hartley hair

“H-Hartley, I’m g-gonna—

Hartley drank him down, eyes closed and reveling in the sensation.  He licked him clean and then, still caught up in the flood of endorphins slid up the length of James’ body keeping skin on skin contact.  Only pulling away when his eyes met James’ and he remembered the situation.

James swallowed a couple of times and then dropped his head back against the wall.  “…wow.”

Hartley smiled, “I’m glad.”

“Yeah, damn.  I don’t suppose I can convince you to do that again some time can I?”  James joked.

“Whenever you want.”  Hartley answer with entirely too much conviction and winced at how that sounded.  So much for not telling him. 

“Hartley?”

Hartley didn’t look at him, he cleared his throat uncomfortably, “uh.”  He swallowed not really knowing what to say and tried to slide further away.  He flinched as he felt James hand on his arm, _please don’t hit me_ his eyes snapping open as James tugged him close.

“Stop.”  James whispered urgently, “Just stop.  It’s ok, alright?  I get it.  You like me, its ok.”  James swallowed, “Just, just shut up and kiss me ok?”

Hartley hesitated for only a moment and then kissed him.  Pouring as much emotion into the kiss as he could.  James groaned and pulled him still closer.  “Oh God, Hartley.” 

Some how, he was straddling James lap, his hard on crushed between them.  When they paused for breath, Hartley asked, “James?”

“I—I don’t know.”  He shook his head, looking a bit lost “I just…want this.  Is that ok?”

“ _Yes_.”

The kiss lengthened.  Tongues tangled and hands wandered, tentative at first but quickly gaining confidence.  When James’ hand closed hesitantly around Hartley erection, he squawked out loud and James laughed.

“What was that?” James asked, grinning

Hartley blushed, but he was grinning too, “Hey, it’s been a while for me too.  Mmm” he shifted with James stroking, “Oh, god yes.”  He sighed.

“You feel good.”  James marveled

“Thanks.  It—you’re good— _oh_.”

They began rocking together hips moving, picking up urgency.  “Oh god James’” Hartley whispered into James’ mouth and James whimpered his hands tightening on Hartley’s back.  James’ hand found its way back in between them and began stroking in time.  Hartley squeezed his eyes shut, moaning quietly as he came.  They stayed tangled together for a moment and then Hartley slid off, groaning as his knees cracked.

“God, I’m getting to old to do that.”

James laughed, “You ok?”

“Yeah,” he stretched out his legs and then lay back next to James.  “James?”

James shook his head, “I…” he shrugged, “I don’t know.  Can we not make a big deal out of it?”  He pleaded.

Hartley brought his hand around to the side of James’ face and pulled him close for a kiss.  James went willingly and when they broke apart, Hartley went forehead to forehead with him.  “Coupla questions?”  James pulled back, nodding.  “Is this…a one time thing?”  Hartley forced himself to keep his tone neutral.

James started down at his hands that were riffling with the bed sheets. “No.”

“You want to keep it quiet?”  James looked up at him, panic in his eyes.  “That’s fine.”  He said firmly, and James relaxed.  “And last, well it’s not really a question, but I’m gonna let you set the pace ok?”

James grinned, “Because if you had it your way you’d jump me right here and now, and have your wicked way with me wouldn’t ya?”

Hartley grinned back, “Probably.”

“Ha!  See, I knew it! You so total want me.”

Hartley rolled his eyes, “James, we just had sex, I think that pretty conclusively answers that question.”

“So I was right.”

Hartley rolled his eyes again but couldn’t, quite, keep the smile off his face, “Yes, you were right.”

Hartley glanced down at their stomachs, “We should shower.”

James made a face, “Ugh, yeah.”

As Hartley worked up lather he noticed that James was watching him surreptitiously out of the corner of his eye.  Hartley grinned.  “It’s ok.”

James’ head jerked up, sending drops of water flying. “What?”

“To look.  It’s ok.”  Hartley replied gently.

James flushed but his eyes wandered lower, his hand sliding up Hartley’s thigh, coming to rest on his hip.  Hartley’s stomach knotted with the sensation.  James’ eyes darted up to his again, he licked his lips, “this is…” he tried again, “This is just so weird!”

“My cock is weird?”  Hartley asked, with mock indignation.

“No!”  James retorted.  “I just never…” his hand slid lower and hovered over Hartley growing erection.  Finally his hand slid along the warm flesh and Hartley sighed quietly, pulling James closer.  Their mouths met, Hartley tugged on James’ bottom lip with his teeth, causing him to groan.  Hartley chuckled softly and then deepened the kiss as James’ hand picked up speed.

“Here.”  Hartley offered, and one of his hands slid down and captured James’ erection brining them together.  James hissed in sudden sensation and then moaned as Hartley gathered both of their cocks together and started to stroke.

“Oh.  _Oh my god_.”  James said hoarsely.

“Mmm.”  Hartley replied.  Hartley came first, stiffening in James’ embrace and then going limp.  James tried to give him a moment, but he was still achingly hard.

“Hartley?”  He asked plaintively.

“Sorry.”  Hartley replied, breathless.  He dropped to his knees, the water pouring over him as he took James’ into his mouth.  James yelped at the sudden warmth and then groaned again.

“Oh my god you are so good at that.”  He moaned.  His hands fisted in Piper’s hair.

Hartley hummed his thanks and James groaned again, coming.  He slid bonelessly down on the tile where he pulled Hartley into a brief kiss.

“Wow.”

Hartley laughed, “You know I could get used to that reaction.”

After they cleaned up they sat on the bed and tried to figure out their next move.  “There has got to be away to get this thing off.”  Hartley said, poking at it hesitantly with his flute.

“Can’t you break it?”  James asked suddenly.

But Hartley just shook his head, “I could just as easily set it off.”  He sighed, “We need somebody who specializes in this kinda stuff.”

“Well it’s a good thing we’re in Mexico then.  Shouldn’t be a problem.”  James retorted sourly

“Not helping.”

“Wait!”  James eyes went wide, “Oh my god I’m an idiot!”  He slapped his hand to his forehead.

Hartley snorted, “I’ve been saying that for years, glad you’ve finally seen the light.”

James glared at him, “Fuck you.”

Hartley grinned at him, “Already did.  Twice in fact.”

James opened his mouth, closed it and then sniffed, “Not talking to you.  No, smartass, I just realized that I can call some of the guys from the bureau, they ought to know a way to get this off, or at least know someone who does!”

Hartley just stared at him, “Apparently we’re both idiots.” He replied finally, rubbing his forehead, “I cannot believe we didn’t think of that before.  But… how in the world are you going to explain it to them?”

“Uh, I haven’t quite worked that one out yet.”

“Ah.”

 

* * *

<“Reeves.”>

<”Tyler, m’man!”>

<”James?!  James where the fuck are you?>

<”Can’t tell ya man, not on a secure line.  Put Warren on willya?”>

<”Warren?  What the fuck do you need Warren for?”  Hold on.”>

Piper made a face, “Ugh, that is the worst holding music ever.”

James laughed, “Yeah, funny story, we were all off duty and—

<”James!”>

<”Warren!”  Damn am I glad to hear you, I need your help.”>

<”Sure, what’s up?”>

<”I can’t give the details, but I find myself needing to disarm a rather unique pieces of equipment.”>

James could hear the confusion in Warren’s voice, <“And _you_ can’t do it?” >

<”You know me man, normally I’d give it a shot, but if I get it wrong I go boom, so I thought I call and get a second opinion.”>

<”Oh.  Fuck.  Ok, sure.  Give me the details.”>

James hesitated for a moment and then shrugged, _here goes nothing_ , <”It’s a shock chain bracelet set with titanium plating, there’s a timer mechanism in one of the cuffs, both of which are set with pressure plates.  If either of the cuffs is removed, boom.  Oh, and the countdown on the self destruct has been initiated.”>

James glanced up to find Hartley giving him a strange look, “What?” He whispered.

“Seriously, you are _way_ to smart to be running around with _Captain Cold_ and _Mirror Master_.”

James blushed, feeling ridiculously proud of the fact that Piper thought he was smart.  Piper.   Boy genius.

 <”Damn, James.”> Warren replied, bring James’ attention back to the conversation at hand. < How on earth—no, no I know you can’t tell me.  Ok, let’s see what I can come up with hold on.”>

*

Hartley would have paced, but the bracelet made that impossible so he settled for fidgeting as James “uh-uhned” and “mm-hmed” into the phone, tinkering with the locking mechanism of the bracelet.  At one point he paused and asked Warren to repeat himself, and then asked again.

“What?”  Hartley asked anxiously

“He thinks he found a schematic.”  James whispered, “and he says he thinks the damn thing is apocalypse tech.”

Hartley just stared at him, “You’re joking.”

James shook his head, <“What?  No, no I’m here.  Keeping going.”>

After about an hour and half, the cuffs made a spronge noise and then both cuffs snapped open and thunked to the floor.  Hartley and James just stared at each other and then down at the cuffs and then back at each other.

<“What?”> James asked, pulled from his daze by the voice on the other end of the phone, <“Oh, no still here.  No boom.  Yeah, that did it.  Thanks Warren, you’re the best.  I mean that man.”>

James exchanged a few more pleasantries and then hung up.  He glanced at Hartley again and then the biggest damn grin swept over his face.  “We did it.”  He said it quietly, as if saying it any louder would make the cuffs spring off the floor and reattach themselves.

Hartley nodded, eyes wide, “yeah.  I-I can’t believe it.  We’re free.”

James toed the cuffs hesitantly, “we need to ditch these things.”

Hartley nodded fervently, “yes.  Now.”

James scooped up the bracelet and then headed toward the door, Hartley following behind him.  When they were half way down the hall, Hartley laughed suddenly.

“What?”

“We’re still walking like we’re chained together.”

James blinked, “huh.  Guess it’ll take a while to get used to, Pavlovian response and all that.”

They climb into the car, Hartley having to remind James that he didn’t need to get in on the drivers side anymore, and drove aimlessly for a while, looking for a place to dump the chains.  Finally they settled on what looked like an abandoned dumpster and chucked them inside.

They took their time on the way back, stopping to get some food and relish being free. “We should get outta town.”   James said after a while munching on a fry

“Someone will find them eventually and then the Task Force will know where we are.

”Hartley nodded, “Suggestions?”

James blew out a breath, “Fuck I dunno, let’s go somewhere nice.  Hawaii maybe.”

Hartley grinned at the idea, “Can’t.” he said after a moment, “we don’t have ID.  We’ll be lucky to get back over the border.”

James made a face, “Damn it.  Hey, wait, can you just, you know” he mimed playing a flute, “and make them think we have ID?”

Hartley blinked, “Uh, yes actually.”

James snickered, “Piper you suck at this villain stuff you know that?”

“Asshole.”

James just laughed harder.

*

Back in the room Hartley made a beeline for the shower and was shocked when James followed.  “You don’t have to—

James hesitated for a moment and then leaned in and kissed him, “I know.  Can I anyway?”

Hartley looked pleased.  “Yes.”

Hartley pulled him close under the spray, teeth tugging on James’ bottom lip.  James made a small sound and then deepened the kiss, his hands running down Piper’s back coming to rest on his hips.  Hartley shifted with the contact rubbing their growing arousals together.

“You know,” James said breathlessly, “I always thought, this kinda thing would be boring.”

Hartley paused, “What thing?” he asked puzzled.

“Sex, with a guy.”

The corners of Hartley’s mouth quirked up, “Why?”

“I don’t really know.” He moved closer, trying to get Hartley’s hand to continue its southward trek.  “The same equipment and all that.”

“Ah.”  Hartley traced his hand down James’ length and then past his balls fishing for—

“Oh my god.”  James gasped, his keens went weak and he leaned heavily on Piper for support.

“Bored?”  Hartley teased

“No! God, do that again.”

“Come on.”  Hartley shut off the water and pulled him toward the bed.

“Piper.”  James complained

“Oh stop whining, it’ll be easier out here.”

“Oh.”  James bighted, “I don’t suppose I could get you to blow me again could I?”

Hartley laughed, “Sure, lay down.”

James threw himself on the bed with gusto making Piper laugh harder.  Once he’d joined James on the bed, his laughter quieted a bit and he glanced up, “Tell me if I do anything that bothers you ok?”

James raised an eyebrow, “And just what are you planning to do?”

“You’ll see, just stop me if you don’t like it.”

James eyed him suspiciously and then shrugged, “go for it.”

Hartley smiled happily and James felt his stomach tighten.  Hartley didn’t smile all that often.  Genuinely smile.  It was nice.  He shifted, “Hey Hartley?”

Piper glanced up, “yeah?”

James swallowed, “I-um,” he hesitated, not really knowing what he wanted to say, “Just, I guess, thank you.  For, you know putting up with me and all.”

Hartley paused, “You’re my friend James.  And,” it was Hartley’s turn to hesitated, not wanting to say anything that would be perceived as too, well, gay.  Finally he gave up, and went for blunt. “James, I really like you.  A lot.  I don’t really know what this is, but I’m happy to have it.”

James winced, he’d been worried that Piper might think he was just using him, it looked like he was right.  “Piper, I’m not” he cleared his throat, “Ok, I suck at this kinda stuff ok, but I like you too.  A lot.  And I want to-to,” his head flopped back in frustration, “Seriously.  I have never been good at this, relationships and stuff.  I don’t think you know just what you’re getting into.”

Hartley slid up beside him, and laid his head next to James, “James,” he waited until James looked at him, “we’ll figure it out as we go.”  And he kissed him.

James had kissed a lot of women.  A lot of women.  But kissing Piper was different, and not just cause he was a guy.  Kissing Piper was fun.

“Mmm.”  Hartley broke the kiss after a moment, “I thought you wanted me to blow you?” he asked.

“In a minute.”  James pulled him back.

 

* * *

“This is never going to work.”  Hartley repeated for the fifth time.  They were standing in line in the airport, a sack full of their cartel money thrown over James’ shoulder, Piper next to him flute in hand.

“You are such a pessimist.  It’ll be fine.  We get up to the counter you play a little tune and then they’ll say they found our reservations.  We head to security, throw the sack through, and then the image distorter I rigged up will do the rest.”

Even in his nervousness, an alarm sounded in the back of Hartley’s brain at the look on James face.  This was the _Trickster_ after all.  “And what will they see?”

James grinned wolfishly at him, “Porn.”

Hartley groaned, “James what if they try to confiscate it?”

“There is no law against carrying porn.  I checked.”

 Their argument was cut short as they reached the check in counter.  “Name?”

That was his cue, Piper ducked down, making it look like he was tying his shoe and started to play quietly.  “Roy Anderson and Jake Wires.”  James replied promptly.  There was the sound of key clacking for a moment followed by a wooden response of, “You are all set.  Here are your boarding passes, have a good day.”

As they headed for security Piper looked a bit stunned, “Wow, she made up actual boarding passes.”

James punched him in the shoulder.  “You always underestimate yourself.  If I could do what you do, I’d rule the world by now.”

Hartley made a face, “Why in god’s name would you want to rule the world?”

“Chicks dig a man with power.”  Hartley rolled his eyes.

*

“God the look on your face when the guard winked at you after the bag went through x-ray!”  James laughed, “That was priceless, man I wish I’d had a camera!”

Piper blushed, “You’re evil.”  He muttered, “You could have told me that you used me in the pictures.”

“And ruin the surprise?  Not a chance.”  James leaned back in his seat, luxuriating in being free, in first class and on his way to Hawaii.”

Piper settled down to get some sleep, they’d been up planning late into the night and even when they’d turned in Piper hadn’t been able to sleep from nerves.  He’d worried that he’d been keeping James up with his tossing and turning but when he’d gone to get up James had stopped him.

“Hartley?”

“Sorry, can’t sleep.”  He’d mumbled, “I’m just gonna go for a walk.”

James had surprised him then.  He pulled Hartley back into bed and kissed him. “Here.”  He’d said into the kiss, and turned him over.  James had then given Hartley the best massage that he’d ever had.  When he’d opened his eyes again, it was morning.

“Watcha thinkin’ bout?”  James asked, making Hartley blush again.

“Last night.” He said after a moment.  “Thanks.”

James’ expression softened, “You’re welcome.”

Piper did eventually fall asleep on the plane.  His dreams plagued by shadowy half figures running after him with shock bracelets who then asked if he wanted to pose for Play Girl.  He was woken out of his bizarre and unnerving dreams by a hand on his shoulder.  His eyes blinked open to see James leaning over him.  “Hmm?”  He asked sleepily

“You were talking in your sleep.” James offered, “It was a bit strange so I thought I’d make sure you weren’t having The Dream.”

“Ah,” Piper rubbed at his eyes, “No.  But thanks.  It was weird though.”  He shook his head, “The affect of seeing myself copulating with women, I suppose.  I think you’ve scarred me for life.”

A wicked smile crossed James face, “I’ll make it up to you, come on.”

Piper’s eyes went wide as James started tugging him out of his seat, “James?” he asked alarm bells going off yet again.

James put his finger to his lips and gestured to the darkened cabin.  He pulled Piper the rest of the way to his feet and then started leading him to the bathroom.”

“James!”  Harley hissed, “James no.”

“Oh come on.”  James challenged, “Tell me you don’t want to do this.”  He reached back and brushed his hand over the front of Hartley’s pants.  The growing bulge gave the lie to his words.  James eyes sparkled with mischief, “come on Piper, you want to,” he squeezed gently, “I know you want to.”

Hartley swallowed.  He’d never had sex anywhere other than a bedroom.  But… “Fine.” 

James flashed him a brilliant smile and pulled him into the tiny bathroom.  They struggled awkwardly for position but when James began working on Piper’s paints he felt his semi-hard cock spring to full attention, so that when James got him free, he was nearly dripping pre cum.  At the smug look on James’ face Hartley retorted, “Don’t say anything— _oh god_.” James had brought lube—the bastard had been _planning_ this—and his hand was coated in the self warming gel as he stroked up and down Hartley’s length. Hartley felt his knees go weak, he would be indignant later, he decided; right now it felt too good.  “Y-you too.” He breathed, fumbling at James pants and pulling him free.  They both gasped at the skin to skin contact and James pulled Piper closer so that that he could burry his face in Hartley’s neck as he jerked them off together.

“Oh god.”  Hartley moaned quietly, “Oh god James.”

James nodded wordlessly into his shoulder.

The excitement of the unknown location and the fear of being caught had them both on edge already, it only took a few strokes and they were coming in rare unison.

After a few moments their breathing returned to normal and they set about getting themselves cleaning up.  “You planned this.”  Hartley accused as he wiped them both down.”

“Yup.”  James agreed happily.

Hartley just shook his head, “You’re amazing.  And utterly shameless, you know that?”

James smiled again, “You love it.”

Hartley hesitated for a moment and then sighed leaning his forehead against James’, “Yes. God help me, yes I do.”

* * *

“James, we don’t need to stay in a five star honey-moon suite.”  Hartley argued half heatedly.

“No we don’t _need_ to, but we’re gunna.  We deserve a vacation after all of this.  And it’s not like we’re low on funds or anything.”

Hartley looked around the massive room, the bed was the size of his last apartment, there was an actual wood burning fire place, and the bathroom could double for the Taj ma Hal.  He walked out on the balcony; their room overlooked the hotel’s pristine private beach, the bluest water he’d ever seen curving in a long arch against blindingly white sand.  He shook his head, “This is amazing.”

James surprised him by coming up behind and wrapping his arms around him, “Relax Hartley,” he kissed him on the cheek, “You’ve earned this.”

Hartley felt his throat get tight, just when had James started to care about him so much?  Something of his emotions must have shown in his eyes, because James moved around and kissed him again, this time on the lips.  As the kiss lengthened it became more passionate and they moved back toward the bed which they fell back onto in a sprawl of tangled limbs.

“D-do,” James gasped, “Do that thing you did in the shower.”

Hartley grinned and slid his hand past James’ balls and began stroking his prenium.  James’ hands clenched into fists on the comforter, “Oh, oh god.”  His eyes rolled back and he arched toward the touch.  “Oh god Piper.  More.”

“Were did you put the lube?”

“I, um, it’s in my bag.”

“Don’t move.”  Hartley hopped up and ran to the bag, digging through it in increasing frustration until he finally just upended the entire thing, scrabbling through the contents until he found what he was looking for.  He ran back to the bed, James still laying prostate his eyes closed and his breathing erratic.  “You tell me if you want me to stop.”  Hartley said firmly.  James nodded wordlessly, eyes still shut, and Hartley went back to exploration.

“Sweet Jesus.”  James breathed as Hartley started stroking again, he slid one finger along James’s ass while at the same time deep-throating him in one swift movement.  James moaned loudly at the sudden sucking pressure and didn’t feel the digit that had entered him until he sparks suddenly exploded behind his eyes.  His entire body bucked, blood racing in his ears.  “Oh god,” he gasped, “oh god! Oh Jesus.”

The litany continued as Hartley sucked harder, his single finger still stroking over James’ prostate.  Finally James stiffened, coming hard.  Hartley drank him down and let his finger slip out.  He glanced up and grinned at the dazed look on James’ face.  “You ok?”  He asked, voice rough.

“Oh. My. God.”  James said in awe.  “That was the single best orgasm I have ever had.”

Hartley laughed, “That’s even better than ‘wow’.”

James sat up and pulled Piper down on top of him, “Show me what to do, I want to do that for you.”

Hartley looked surprised, which up set him, “I, I know that I haven’t really been—that you’ve been doing all the work.” James said, feeling like a bastard, which was weird because normally he didn’t mind using people, but the fact that Hartley seemed to expect it hurt. “Show me how to do what you did.”

“James, its ok.  You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.”  Hartley insisted.  “That was just as much fun for me as it was for you.”

James shook his head, “Please, show me?”

“Ok.”  But Hartley still looked uncertain, “You want me to show you, what penetration?”

“All of it.”  James said doggedly.

Hartley walked him—verbally— through the step by step process of stretching someone out.  James listened intently and then nodded, “And then after that, after all the fingers?”

“Uh,” Hartley cleared his throat, his gaze wandering out over the ocean “well if the other person is ok with it, then,” he gestured downward to his lap, “you, uh, take the plunge as it were.” 

"Doesn’t seem all that hard.”  He flipped Hartley onto his back who squawked in surprise.

“The hell!”  But Hartley’s throat clenched on any other words as James ran his fingers along the inside of his thigh making him shiver.

“Let me know if I get anything wrong, ok Teach?”  James said grinning at the look of stunned surprise on Hartley’s face.

He went slowly at first, not wanted to hurt Piper, this was the first time he’d done this after all.  But after a few moments of fishing around he found a smooth section, the size of a shirt button.  He stroked across it and he felt Hartley clamp down around his finger.  Hartley moaned softly and James hurried to add a second finger.  He was still trying to go slowly but he was really getting excited about the idea of fucking Piper and he was getting a little impatient with all the prep work, but he forced himself to wait through the next finger before asking, “You think you’re good?”

Hartley moaned quietly again, nodding after a moment.  James pushed his legs apart eagerly and then fumbled until he had his dick in position.  He shoved in but froze at the hiss of pain from Piper.  “Hartley?”  He asked, worried.

“S’ok, it’s just been a while.”  Hartley reassured him. 

But James frowned, “you weren’t really ready were you?”

“I’m fine.”

“No.”  James said, frustrated and upset, “Why did you tell me you were ready when you weren’t?!”

“You were getting bored.”  Hartley said quietly, looking away. “I didn’t want you to stop.”

“Why do you do that?!”  James demanded, “Why do you assume I’m going to-to just leave you hanging?”

Hartley shrugged uncomfortably, “I’m sorry.”  He started to pull away but James stopped him, pulling him back, “I want this to be good for you.”  He said, his voice thick, “Please Hartley, let me do this for you?”

Hartley lay back down, and James pulled out slowly, replacing his dick with his finger again, he was distressed to see a small amount of blood on them but Hartley reassured him that he really was ok so he kept going, working up to four fingers, focusing only on Hartley and not on himself until he had Hartley writhing on the bed and begging for him to take him.  James looked up, mischievous grin back in place, “Say it again.”

“Fuck me.  Jesus James, I’m _ready_ , I’ve _been_ ready, fuck me!”

“Have we learned our lesson about saying we’re ready too soon?”

“Yes, damn you, yes!”

“Good.”  James pulled his fingers out and once again placed his now painfully hard erection at Hartley entrance.  He could feel the difference immediately when he slid in, there was almost no resistance and he was able to seat himself fully within Hartley who groaned more loudly than he had yet.

“oh.”  James said as sensation swamped him.  “oh. Wow.”

Hartley giggled, “We’re back to wow?”

James met his eyes and gave him a silly grin, “Guess so.  Hartley this is, this is—

Hartley retuned the smile, “I know.” He closed his eyes, “Mmmm, god I know.  Move James.”

“Right.  Move.”  He started to thrust, slowly at first then picking up speed, by the end he was slamming into Hartley full force, who was still groaning softly with the most beautiful look of ecstasy on his face that James had ever seen.  He grabbed at Hartley’s dick, and began jerking him off in time to his thrusts, Hartley came first, followed a few strokes later by James.

“That.”  Hartley said after a moment, “was amazing.”

James grinned, “See, you just have to have a little faith.”

Hartley ginned back, and had to clear his throat a couple of times before he could answer, “Thanks.”

 

* * *

“So,” James asked as he came to stand behind Hartley who was looking out over the beach, “Do we have a plan?”

“Do we need one?”  Hartley asked, without looking around.  He’d been captivated by the water since the day they’d gotten there.  It was breathtaking, he’d been to the beach before, but he’d never seen anything like this.  He was loath to let the real world intrude on this paradise.

James chuckled, “Who are you and what have you done with Piper?”

Now Hartley did look around and smiled, “I like it here.”  He replied shrugging.

“I’ve noticed.” James replied moving to lean on the railing next to him, “So what if we stay here?  Go legit?”

Eyebrows rose, “As what?  A flautist and,” he looked James up and down, “...beach bum?”

“Funny.  No, I was thinking,” he glanced down at the ground, “Well, P.I’s.”

Hartley laughed, “You’re not serious.”  When James didn’t answer, he said, “You’re _serious_!”

“We’d be good at it.”  James defended.  “I can work up the gizmos and you can get people to look the other way while we sneak around and dig up dirt on the baddies.”

“James,” Hartley said with a smile, “Not too long ago we were the baddies.”

“Yeah, well, we’re doing the Robin Hood thing now, remember, we’re good baddies.”

Hartley couldn’t help himself, he pulled James into an embrace and kissed him breathless.  James melted, pulling him closer.  When they finally broke apart James said, “Is that a yes?”

Hartley nodded.  “It’s a yes.”

“Good, cause I already got us an office.”

“You did what?!”  Hartley squawked

“You’ll love it! It’s got a great view.”

Hartley shook his head, “You are incorrigible, you know that?”

“No.  Mainly cause I don’t know what that means, but I’m sure I’m not.  Now com’on, I’ll show you the place.  Seriously, you’ll love it.”

 

END

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

* * *

[1] The train was stopped at a security check point on its way into Mexico.  They got off the train to avoid being caught by the border patrol.

[2] A genius in the science of Sonics, Piper has invented a variety of sound weapon able to hypnotize anyone within earshot or generate high-pitched destructive force from a single musical note.  Apparently he can also slow down the timer with the flute that he made from spare auto parts on the train.  Hey that’s all cannon baby.

[3] James shoved Hartley out of the way of Deathshot’s bullet while they were on the train.

[4] Just after getting caught by Waller’s bitches aka the Task Force James had a nock down drag out nightmare about watching the Bart Allen flash being killed by the other Rogues. 


End file.
